“This Just In…”

Think back, do you remember being asked by anyone if you saw or read a particular news article? Maybe you heard about a particular topic on your favorite news program? I have. My wife asks me everyday if I heard about so-in-so on the news. I always tell her “Yes honey, I heard about that, or I read about that today on Twitter”. That got me to thinking. It seems that there is something happening that we as a growing and ever-changing people will not be able to stop, and that is how information is delivered. Right now, you have at your finger tips multiple ways to get the information you need, whether it be by television news programs, radio programs, email, RSS feeds, Twitter, Facebook, where ever, right now, news and information is SO available, some people actually have a hard time deciding how they want to get it. There are even those that want to have established news providers like Reuters, CNN, ABC, etc removed from Google. I say, Go ahead!

 The internet has improved so much and technology is changing so fast, that I believe in the not to distant future, the television news programs and Reuters, and other news providers on Google will be obsolete. With YouTube, TwitVid and Fancast, and Hulu getting better everyday, it’s not going to be long before the evening news is a thing of the past. Think about it. If the news program’s stopped, and you wanted to know what was going on in the world, you could search it out on YouTube or go to a networks website like CBS.Com or CNN.com something. Or try this; go to Twitter and maybe search the trend on the topic you want to know about. See, here’s what I’m saying. It’s not going to be long before everyone who has a cell phone or a video camera is going to be the mainstream of information for the World Wide Web. There are people all over the planet right now that have cell phones, and smart phones with the ability to shoot video and send that video to the internet. There are video camera’s that will even record video and stream it to the internet via a WiFi connection. See, I believe the journalist is becoming extinct. News happens on the fly everyday. And there is always someone there who see’s it and who will put it on the internet. Pretty soon the “Breaking news story” will be tweeted first or even “woofer-ed” because you may not be able to tell the story in 140 characters, you nay need 1400 characters.(Here, check it out http://woofertime.com )

Yes, the future of information is about to explode and we will be party to all kinds of new ways that information is passed along. What about this? Right now, flat screen TV’s are all the rage. Now you must have LED technology for flat screens. The flat panel TV debuted in 2005 (according to http://www.high-techproductions.com/historyoftelevision.htm ) and here it is 2009 and now its all about LED technology for flat panels and all the networks broadcast in HD digital format. See, I do not see the TV dying out, I just see the TV used in a different way pretty soon. I see the TV used as an interactive device that displays information with a touch of a GUI icon on the screen itself. The television that’s coming will have a hard drive and be connected to the internet, and if you want to watch something on TV, go to a program website and search, touch and watch your program on demand and with no commercials. Why would we need commercials? We would already pay for the TV service like we pay for internet. We do it with satellite radio like XM, why not TV? Here’s another one. Right now there is an electronic unit called an E-Reader. What it does is, you can now download “E-books” off the internet right to your E-Reader via a WiFi connection and have the book of your choice to read anytime you want.

Not a bad idea huh? Well how about this; what if there was a video player that did the same thing? Purchase and download ANY video, feature movie or sports program to this player, and watch it when ever you want with Blue-Ray quality or better. You could even “lend” the video to your friends, just like you can with the E-reader, or, if you just wanted to rent the video, you could via the units WiFi connection in a matter of seconds. It would download to your player, with a special code that voids the movie after you watch it or if you do not watch it in a certain amount of time. The Blue Ray WiFi video player. Its coming! (if it’s not here already). Information is so available in so many different ways, the evening news networks will have to change the way they do things in order to stay in business. This type of thinking is why I am so interested in Social Media right now. I want to have the internet and how we get information, to be a base of how life is lived right now. Pretty soon, the hard cover book, the magazine and the newspaper at the stands are all going to be antique’s. With the advancements going on as small or large as they are right now with Apples Iphone, even the Ipod will be obsolete.

One last possible change that I see coming has to do with money. Right now we use the paper note that has a printed number on it that represents the amount of that note and is protected by the federal government. Back in the day, we used gold to pay for things. Well gold in my opinion is still a necessary item for currency, but the paper note or “dollar bill” is not. I’m seeing more and more companies integrating electronic payment technology into their business as a way for customers to pay for things. The paper money we use today is slowly dying out. I’m thinking that before to long, paper money will be a thing of the past and electronic currency will be how we pay for food, leisure, real estate, etc. what do you think? Just touch, click…paid.

“That’s How I Do It”

“Can you hear me now or do you need an App for that?”

If you have been on Facebook, or watching the news, or television in general, you probably have seen the ad campaign from Verizon regarding AT&T’s coverage map put up against Verizon’s coverage map and the fact that Verizon claims to have a larger coverage area within the United States. Watching the commercial on television, you can see right away that Verizon is making AT&T look like they have an extremely small coverage area all over the US. Well, one result that has spawned from this ad campaign is that AT&T has filed a law suit against Verizon claiming that the campaign makes false claims against them by illustrating that the AT&T coverage map they show in their ad campaign is inaccurate. Naturally,Verizon responded to this statement with a “truth hurts” style statement, so its going to be interesting to see exactly what happens after it’s all over. Being an AT&T customer myself, I tend to disagree with Verizon’s claim in the campaign.

                                            Here is what Verizon is showing us:When you look at what Verizon claims to be the coverage map for AT&T, you have to ask yourself, “why would anyone use AT&T if the coverage map shows such a minimal coverage area nationwide”? Well, I DID ask myself this question and decided to use the internet to get my answer to see if Verizon is accurate and on the right path or if they are on a path of destruction. What I did was, I went to each of the “larger” cell phone companies websites and checked out their coverage maps. What I saw was surprising. First let me say that there are a lot of major cell phone providers out there these days. You don’t realize it until you actually look at it, but its clear that the public should have no problems what so ever deciding which provider to use. Anyway, keep in mind that all I did was compare each providers coverage map to one another to see who actually has the better coverage area. As I said earlier, I am already an AT&T customer so OBVIOUSLY, I looked at Verizon vs. AT&T first then looked at everyone else. The maps below are the coverage maps for most of the “major” service providers. Take a look and see for yourself.

 

 

AT&T coverage area according to ATT.com

 

Verizon coverage area according to Verizon.Com

As you can see, for the most part, Verizon and AT&T, have about the same coverage areas nationwide. Admittedly, Verizon does show a slightly larger coverage area in Alaska than AT&T but looking nationwide, it’s not enough for me to switch over to Verizon. In fact, I have been a Verizon customer in the past and while area coverage was not an issue, Phone quality and connection integrity were. By the time I switched to AT&T, I felt Verizon’s phones were cheaply made, and I was constantly dropping calls in mid conversation, so to me having a 95% coverage blanket across the United States is one thing, it does you no good if you cannot maintain connection integrity during a call. So far with AT&T, I can honestly say that the only time I drop a call is when I go through a very long tunnel or I am surrounded by mountains or I am under water, and that does not happen all the time. AT&T phone quality to me is better and since the Iphone became a major addition to the AT&T family of phones, this only shows where we are going with regard to technology. Lets not forget what RIM did after Apple released the Iphone. Remember the Blackberry Storm?

Blackberry Storm vs. Apple IPhone

 

Now another issue that I found with Verizon or any other provider for that matter is the fact that NO ONE seems to be going after Sprint and their campaign. Sprint now offers Free anytime minutes cell to cell. ANY cell phone from ANY provider. That means if I have a sprint phone, and you have an AT&T phone I can call you and the minutes are free. ANYTIME, ANYWHERE and all I pay is the monthly service cost. That right there is one hell of a service plan. This is where ALL cell phone service providers should be right now in my opinion.

 

Sprint coverage area according to Sprint.com

 

MetroPCS coverage area according to MetroPCS.com

 

T-Mobile coverage area according to TMobile.com

 

Boost Mobile coverage area according to Boostmobile.com

In fact if you look at it another way, MetroPCS actually came up with that idea first. MetroPCS claims you pay one price and you can talk to any phone anytime. MetroPCS’s problem is their coverage area is small and the connection quality is poor. I used MetroPCS and 8 out of 10 calls were dropped due to connection quality in my opinion. One thing that bothered me between Verizon and AT&T was the news that AT&T was not going to be selling the Blackberry Storm because they already had the Iphone so the Storm became a Verizon phone. Disappointing because at the time I was (and partially still am) a Blackberry addict and having the Blackberry Storm was the next upgrade on my list. Now I’m kinda headed towards the Iphone because of its Social Media applications and other features. I just feel that we’re headed for a major change in how we as people live, and what we use daily to communicate.

Social Media to me is like the Television, and last time I checked, almost EVERY home in America has a television. So anyhow, in my opinion, Verizon is making claims that ultimately will bite them in the ass because once the “official word” is spoken about area coverage, Verizon will not be king of the mountain like they think they are, everyone will be just about the same if not EXACTLY the same. Hasn’t anyone ever heard about “shared technology and hardware”? Or are Cisco and IBM the only ones?

Sorry Verizon, but I’m going to stay with AT&T because “That’s How I Do It”.

 

 

“As long as you do it my way, we will have no problems”

Looking through my posts on this Blog, what I write about most often are things that happen within most families. I haven’t written anything about life outside of the home. This post will touch on something that happens to people involving their home. This post is about the Contractor. Over the course of me living on my own, I like a lot of people, ran into money problems. The bills kept coming but the money wasn’t. Faced with this problem, I decided to become a handyman. It was a really good idea. I posted a flyer at grocery stores and like bees to honey, the jobs started pouring in. I was making a lot of money. But, after a while the work started to fizzle out. This happened right at the time where I got a new job so everything basically worked out. One thing I learned being a hired “contractor” is that you are hired to do a job and the customer wants perfection. Understandable since they are the one paying your salary.

A lot of times perfection was harder to find than the supplies needed for a job, so I did the best I could and took my lumps where it was necessary. One thing the customer did not like was incomplete work. As hard or boring as the job was, I was still obligated to finish the work in the time allotted or I was not paid. As it turns out, this is how I believe it should be about everything, especially regarding “home remodels”. If you hire someone to come in and make changes to your home, make sure they “work for you” and not for themselves. I’ve been hired by too many people that have already been screwed over by a prior contractor that flaked-out on them or just didn’t have what it took to do the job. I was then hired and paid to come in and make everything all better. You, as the customer, have to set the tone right away. The contractor works for you. They do not work for themselves. How do you do that? Well for starters, think like this: you are paid when the work is complete. Yeah, I know, contractors like to ask for deposits up front. They do that for one of two reasons, you know. One, they need money for material, or two, they need it to line their pockets. Either way, it’s a given that you will have to pay a deposit. HOWEVER, the rule of thumb is, never more than 50% up front.

If you have to give the contractor more than 50% upfront, that’s a sign the contractor will not get the work done on time, if at all. If you initially give them 50% up front and they come back to you later and ask for more, that’s a sign of them not handling their business right, and they ran out of money because of poor planning on their part. So remember, never more than 50%. Then when the job is completed to your satisfaction, you sign off on the work and pay the balance. I recommend the balance to be paid by check, not cash or money order. That way, if after the contractor leaves, you find a flaw or something wrong in the work, you can put a hold on the check, call them back and have them come out to fix the problem. If you give them cash after it’s over, you’re done. The contractor is gone and you’re left with the problems you find later. It’s sad that we have to be like this, but we do. Both you and the contractor enter into a negotiation with your fists up ready to go. In that circumstance, neither of you will be taken advantage of so, the whole deal is struck with an “I’m not getting screwed” attitude. Hopefully, one day it will not be like that, but for now, it is. The thing is we won’t be here to see it anyway.

Let’s say you signed a deal and you have the contractor locked in, now what? Well, you’re the boss, remember? You’ve got to stay on your people. Make sure they are working a complete day. I’ve heard of people hiring contractors, and the contractors only work only 5 hours a day on their home. That’s absurd! They want a full days pay? Work a full day! To me a full day in the secular world is 8 hours, but for a contractor, it’s 10 to 12 hours a day! You’ve got to stay on your workers if you want the job done your way. One other thing, contractors should be like elves. That means, when they are done for the day, they make it look like they were not even there. They clean up! Remove everything that shows they have been in your home. A contractor that leaves his crap in your house at the end of the day is not professional and you need to shut them down. Remember, you’re the boss, they are the worker. They should never leave their tools out! What YOU say goes. SO, let’s say you have the contractor hired, he has begun work for you, and now things don’t look like they are going very well. Now what? Well, you have the contract. There is nothing wrong with making sure the contractor knows you have it with you at all times. Remind the contractor of his “signed obligation”. If the contractor stated he would be done in a certain time, hold him to it. Is he done on time? No? Then slap him in the face with the contract. If he baulks at it, CANCEL the contractor and report him, PERIOD! See, if a dog shits in the house on the carpet, you rub his nose in it, spank him, and put him outside. Same thing goes with the lousy contractor. If he leaves his shit everywhere in your home and is not working as fast as he said he would based on the signed contract, rub his nose in the contract, his poor workmanship, spank him with a forfeit of the remaining balance and put his ass outside. Don’t forget to report him to the Licensing Bureau.

 The contractor will learn soon enough that they can’t run a business like that because it threatens their wallet. We do this with everything else, right? I mean, for example, what happens if you order food at a restaurant and it comes to your table wrong? Do you send it back? Why not do the same thing with a contractor? If you order your house to be painted, and the painter does less than satisfactory work, why continue? You’re eating a shit sandwich if you do, and the contractor you hired made that sandwich for you. But, it also goes the other way of course. If you hire a contractor to do something to your home, make sure you are clear on what you want and your request is within reason. The last thing a contractor needs, are last minute changes to a project. I know that was one thing I hated with a passion. I start the work and get half way through, and the customer changed their mind. Suddenly, they want it a different way and I have already bought the material for the original idea. DAMMIT! Make sure you know what it is you want done, and specify it.

Be realistic about the time needed to do the work. If the job takes a week to complete, then it takes a week. Don’t tell the guy you want a weeks’ work in 3 days. You won’t be satisfied with the result if you do. Set up the contract with a “realistic mindset”, give ample time to complete the work, and hold to what you agree on. Getting all the little details out of the way, staying on top of your workers, and making sure they do the job the right way will keep both you and the contractor out of the courtroom and a small claim action. Don’t be afraid to be critical in your inspections, being critical about the result is what keeps the employee on their toes and they make sure the work is done to your specifications. If I hire someone to do a job for me, I am in the way all the time and the contractor hates it. I do this because I will not be screwed out of my money and I want the work done a certain way. I am this way because, “That’s How I Do It!”

Never Bring a Pea Shooter to a Gunfight

Those are genuine words of wisdom. And those words work in all of the situations in your life when you look at it. When you have something going on in your life, and you need to make a difference in that situation, why would you use something or DO something that only touches the top layer of the problem? Wouldn’t you want a much more significant outcome to your situation? If you answer yes to that question, you’re not alone. Having that attitude about situations and their outcomes is normal. It’s not the least bit selfish. So if you are looking for BIG payoff on your solutions, don’t make small decisions.

Let me give you an example; My son Sean has Bipolar/ADHD. His mother and I figured out he was Bipolar more than two years ago. We found this out after about a years worth of enduring his episodes and wondering why the medicine he was taking was not working. After doing some internet research, we took a home test, and then when we took him for his monthly interview with the Dr. and both Sue and I presented what we found. He looked at what we had, listened to what we found out and told us, (I’ll never forget what he said) “Oh yes, I diagnosed him with Bipolar disorder a couple months ago”. My mouth hit the floor. He didn’t even tell us. He told us he was changing Sean’s medication but didn’t state it was because he had a new diagnosis. Come to find out, the prior Dr. had diagnosed Sean with ADHD and prescribed meds for that. Turns out, the meds for the ADHD exacerbated the Bipolar symptoms. That’s why our life had so much turmoil for the last year. The new Dr. tells us that the prior Dr. should have looked at Bipolar symptoms because it’s important to identify and treat that because alot of the ADHD meds make the Bipolar issues worse. Since that time, Sean’s medication is watched and checked monthly, and altered when necessary. The medicine has definitely helped him and our household. The medication Sean has been on for the manic side of his Bipolar was Trileptal. Sounds important doesn’t it. “Tri-Lep-Tal”. The Dr. prescribed this medication, then increased it, and increased it more (don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t immediate, there were several months in between each increase). Sean has been on the next to largest dose available. A full adult dose.

Let’s remember the child is currently 14 years old! So for 1 year, Sean has been taking an adult dose of this “Trileptal”. The result? It took the edge off but our house and my relationship with Sue and her children were being torn apart. There has been SO MUCH fallout from Bipolar in this house, it would make the strongest man cringe. But wait, there’s more to this example. Recently, we took Sean for his monthly interview at his Dr. We all sat down while Sean did what he has normally done for two years. Not sit still, interrupt and talk over people when they are talking, not do as he is told, give us lip, etc. Well, one thing Sean did that day was he stepped on a weight scale and weighed himself. Turned out Sean weighs way too much for a child of 14. NOT GOOD. The child is 14 years old and about 5ft 6in tall. I’m 44 and 6ft tall. Sean realized he didn’t weigh that much different from me (about 80 pounds). Sean was dumb-founded. Sean himself couldn’t believe it. Now he was concerned. He told me, “Dad, I’m to big”. I replied, “yes Sean you are. Let’s talk to the Dr. about it and see what he says” so we did. Turns out, Sean was eating too much due to a side effect in Trileptal that caused the people taking it to crave carbs. Since Sean is not very active, he would eat and gain weight. So, the Dr. did something for Sean that has had a large impact on our lives at home. The Dr. changed Sean’s medicine from Trileptol, to a pill named Geodon. Doesn’t sound very magical does it? “Geo-doan”. The Dr. prescribed a normal dose for Sean to take twice per day. However, since Sean has been on Trilepta for so long, he needed to be “eased” into the new med so his body wouldn’t “freak out” due to a sudden change. Now, stay with me here, this is where it gets important.

You’re probably asking yourself, “what does the Trileptal actually do?” Well, here’s your answer. The major purpose of Trileptal is to treat people who suffer from Seizures. The minor purpose that Trileptal is used for is Bipolar disorder. Understand? The pill Sean has been taking for going on 2 years was not treating the MAJOR issue he has which is BIPOLAR Disorder, so consequently, Sean was NOT given the right tool for his situation. He was given a “Pea-shooter” for his gun fight. The Geodon however, IS specifically designed to treat Bipolar disorder. 100%. Geodon is a mood stabilizer. There are no “bonus disorders” for this drug. It’s not a “2-fer” pill. Geodon treats Bipolar. Period. Ladies and gentlemen, Sean has been on Geodon for 6 days, and the change in his ability, his attitudes, his outlook on things, his manners, is…(sigh) blissful. But here’s where I am at with all this… WHY? Why does a degreed professional like Sean’s Dr. prescribe a “pea-shooter” pill to treat Sean’s “Gunfight” of a disorder? Are you getting a picture of what I’m talking about? Let me break it down for you. See, for the last 2 going on 3 years, Sue and I and Sean have had to endure the acts of Sean’s episodes, his anger, his depression, his frustrations, his disrespect, his disobedience, everything amplified by Bipolar disorder. Yes, kids will be kids, and some of what we were getting from Sean was just him being a kid. I looked at it like this; A terd sandwich is a terd sandwich, it’s the size of the sandwich that we were served that I didn’t like. Sean being a kid, I can handle. Its Sean being a kid with Godzilla running his brain and stomping on our lives, I can’t take.

Now, its like night and day around here. Sean is so much better. For six days, Sean has taken the correct pill for his disorder and he is being treated properly. The house is quiet, has been for six days so far. After almost three years of pain and anguish and fighting between us and the household being torn apart, we finally have the right tool for the job and are making the necessary adjustments to the situation. It’s a long example I know, but it is a situation that required an adjustment that brought a large solution. That’s what I am trying to get across to you here. When you go through a situation that you want corrected, make the correction needed that solves the problem 100% not halfway or less.

If you want to break boulders, don’t use a Playskool style hammer, use a SLEDGE HAMMER. You can’t break rocks by rubbing them gently, you have to SMACK them as hard as you can with a large hammer!

Here’s some more help. If you have someone living in your house that doesn’t pay you rent for living there, and takes advantage of you and your life, kick his/her ass out! No excuses, no compromises. No “OK, here’s what were gonna do” type of compromising, BOOT THE LOSER/LOSER-ETTE OUT! All of his/her property out on the sidewalk, BAM! shut the door behind him/her, BAM! Bolt the lock, don’t answer the door when they knock. BAM BAM BAM!!! That’s “bringing a gun to a gunfight”. Plus, you have made a decision for you! Don’t you feel better now? Problem solved.

One more example of what I’m talking about; My Daughter had/has a male friend (we’re still not clear on that). At the time, it was confirmed that he was the boyfriend, so as the supportive parental figures that Sue and I are, we got both the daughter and her “mate” cell phones and we paid the monthly bill. All we asked is that they watch the minutes, and not abuse the opportunity. Soon after, the boyfriends phone started to increase the amount of internet time used, plus there was a surprise charge of 9.99 on our bill plus a new recurring charge of 3.00 per month that Sue couldn’t account for. After some questioning with our phone service, and some other research, it was determined that the boyfriend had bought a service for his phone that he did not seek permission for from Sue or myself AND he did not let us know that the service incurred a monthly “maintenance” charge of 3.00 per month! Now, keep in mind its only 3.00 per month so the charge really was not the issue. The issue was there was no prior notice by the boyfriend. We had to find this out on our own. That to me is disrespectful. He was abusing the opportunity.

So after some discussion between Sue and I, we decided to just let it ride because of the importance of having a phone. Then later on, the boyfriend decided that he was not going to work anymore or look for a job, that it was the daughter’s responsibility to provide the money for the house, keep the house clean, take care of the child, that he “didn’t have the energy or interest in finding a job” for. Well, right there, Sue and I made an adjustment to a situation. His phone was shut off. From the point where we heard verbatim what he had decided about his obligation to the place where he was living and his child, it only took 3 minutes and he had no more cell phone. BAM! See? Sue and I had a situation, (boyfriend abusing his opportunity) and we solved it. BAM! Now, if he doesn’t want to work, that’s fine. We’re not supporting his leisure time. No FREE rides. Problem solved. “You want a phone? Get it yourself”. Now we save money on our phone bill which helps us stay happy and that’s what its all about, right?

Listen, there are people out there in the world that will take advantage of you in a second if you let them. IF YOU LET THEM. There are circumstances out there that will bring hardship to you and to your family unit if you let it happen. IF YOU LET IT HAPPEN.

Never bring a Pea-shooter to a gun fight. Your time on this earth is bound to have some “gun fights” in it. Make the corrections needed to end the gunfight 100%. That’s what I do. Why?….Because, “That’s How I Do It”.

“Never Bring a Pea-Shooter to a Gun Fight”

Those are genuine words of wisdom. And those words work in all of the situations in your life when you look at it. When you have something going on in your life, and you need to make a difference in that situation, why would you use something or DO something that only touches the top layer of the problem? Wouldn’t you want a much more significant outcome to your situation? If you answer yes to that question, you’re not alone. Having that attitude about situations and their outcomes is normal. It’s not the least bit selfish. So if you are looking for BIG payoff on your solutions, don’t make small decisions.
Let me give you an example; My son Sean has Bipolar/ADHD. His mother and I figured out he was Bipolar more than two years ago. We found this out after about a years worth of enduring his episodes and wondering why the medicine he was taking was not working. After doing some internet research, we took a home test, and then when we took him for his monthly interview with the Dr. and both Sue and I presented what we found.  He looked at what we had, listened to what we found out and told us, (I’ll never forget what he said) “Oh yes, I diagnosed him with Bipolar disorder a couple months ago”. My mouth hit the floor. He didn’t even tell us. He told us he was changing Sean’s medication but didn’t state it was because he had a new diagnosis. Come to find out, the prior Dr. had diagnosed Sean with ADHD and prescribed meds for that. Turns out, the meds for the ADHD exacerbated the Bipolar symptoms. That’s why our life had so much turmoil for the last year. The new Dr. tells us that the prior Dr. should have looked at Bipolar symptoms because it’s important to identify and treat that because alot of the ADHD meds make the Bipolar issues worse. Since that time, Sean’s medication is watched and checked monthly, and altered when necessary. The medicine has definitely helped him and our household. The medication Sean has been on for the manic side of his Bipolar was Trileptal. Sounds important doesn’t it. “Tri-Lep-Tal”. The Dr. prescribed this medication, then increased it, and increased it more (don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t immediate, there were several months in between each increase). Sean has been on the next to largest dose available. A full adult dose.
Let’s remember the child is currently 14 years old! So for 1 year, Sean has been taking an adult dose of this “Trileptal”. The result? It took the edge off but our house and my relationship with Sue and her children were being torn apart. There has been SO MUCH fallout from Bipolar in this house, it would make the strongest man cringe. But wait, there’s more to this example. Recently, we took Sean for his monthly interview at his Dr. We all sat down while Sean did what he has normally done for two years. Not sit still, interrupt and talk over people when they are talking, not do as he is told, give us lip, etc. Well, one thing Sean did that day was he stepped on a weight scale and weighed himself. Turned out Sean weighs way too much for a child of 14. NOT GOOD. The child is 14 years old and about 5ft 6in tall. I’m 44 and 6ft tall. Sean realized he didn’t weigh that much different from me (about 80 pounds). Sean was dumb-founded. Sean himself couldn’t believe it. Now he was concerned. He told me, “Dad, I’m to big”. I replied, “yes Sean you are. Let’s talk to the Dr. about it and see what he says” so we did. Turns out, Sean was eating too much due to a side effect in Trileptal that caused the people taking it to crave carbs. Since Sean is not very active, he would eat and gain weight. So, the Dr. did something for Sean that has had a large impact on our lives at home. The Dr. changed Sean’s medicine from Trileptol, to a pill named Geodon. Doesn’t sound very magical does it? “Geo-doan”. The Dr. prescribed a normal dose for Sean to take twice per day. However, since Sean has been on Trilepta for so long, he needed to be “eased” into the new med so his body wouldn’t “freak out” due to a sudden change. Now, stay with me here, this is where it gets important.
You’re probably asking yourself, “what does the Trileptal actually do?” Well, here’s your answer. The major purpose of Trileptal is to treat people who suffer from Seizures. The minor purpose that Trileptal is used for is Bipolar disorder. Understand? The pill Sean has been taking for going on 2 years was not treating the MAJOR issue he has which is BIPOLAR Disorder, so consequently, Sean was NOT given the right tool for his situation. He was given a “Pea-shooter” for his gun fight. The Geodon however, IS specifically designed to treat Bipolar disorder. 100%. Geodon is a mood stabilizer. There are no “bonus disorders” for this drug. It’s not a “2-fer” pill. Geodon treats Bipolar. Period. Ladies and gentlemen, Sean has been on Geodon for 6 days, and the change in his ability, his attitudes, his outlook on things, his manners, is…(sigh) blissful. But here’s where I am at with all this… WHY? Why does a degreed professional like Sean’s Dr. prescribe a “pea-shooter” pill to treat Sean’s “Gunfight” of a disorder? Are you getting a picture of what I’m talking about? Let me break it down for you. See, for the last 2 going on 3 years, Sue and I and Sean have had to endure the acts of Sean’s episodes, his anger, his depression, his frustrations, his disrespect, his disobedience, everything amplified by Bipolar disorder. Yes, kids will be kids, and some of what we were getting from Sean was just him being a kid. I looked at it like this; A terd sandwich is a terd sandwich, it’s the size of the sandwich that we were served that I didn’t like. Sean being a kid, I can handle. Its Sean being a kid with Godzilla running his brain and stomping on our lives, I can’t take.

Now, its like night and day around here. Sean is so much better. For six days, Sean has taken the correct pill for his disorder and he is being treated properly. The house is quiet, has been for six days so far. After almost three years of pain and anguish and fighting between us and the household being torn apart, we finally have the right tool for the job and are making the necessary adjustments to the situation. It’s a long example I know, but it is a situation that required an adjustment that brought a large solution. That’s what I am trying to get across to you here. When you go through a situation that you want corrected, make the correction needed that solves the problem 100% not halfway or less.
If you want to break boulders, don’t use a Playskool style hammer, use a SLEDGE HAMMER. You can’t break rocks by rubbing them gently, you have to SMACK them as hard as you can with a large hammer!
Here’s some more help. If you have someone living in your house that doesn’t pay you rent for living there, and takes advantage of you and your life, kick his/her ass out! No excuses, no compromises. No “OK, here’s what were gonna do” type of compromising, BOOT THE LOSER/LOSER-ETTE OUT! All of his/her property out on the sidewalk, BAM! shut the door behind him/her, BAM! Bolt the lock, don’t answer the door when they knock. BAM BAM BAM!!! That’s “bringing a gun to a gunfight”. Plus, you have made a decision for you! Don’t you feel better now? Problem solved.

 One more example of what I’m talking about; My Daughter had/has a male friend (we’re still not clear on that). At the time, it was confirmed that he was the boyfriend, so as the supportive parental figures that Sue and I are, we got both the daughter and her “mate” cell phones and we paid the monthly bill. All we asked is that they watch the minutes, and not abuse the opportunity. Soon after, the boyfriends phone started to increase the amount of internet time used, plus there was a surprise charge of 9.99 on our bill plus a new recurring charge of 3.00 per month that Sue couldn’t account for. After some questioning with our phone service, and some other research, it was determined that the boyfriend had bought a service for his phone that he did not seek permission for from Sue or myself AND he did not let us know that the service incurred a monthly “maintenance” charge of 3.00 per month! Now, keep in mind its only 3.00 per month so the charge really was not the issue. The issue was there was no prior notice by the boyfriend. We had to find this out on our own. That to me is disrespectful. He was abusing the opportunity.
So after some discussion between Sue and I, we decided to just let it ride because of the importance of having a phone. Then later on, the boyfriend decided that he was not going to work anymore or look for a job, that it was the daughter’s responsibility to provide the money for the house, keep the house clean, take care of the child, that he “didn’t have the energy or interest in finding a job” for. Well, right there, Sue and I made an adjustment to a situation. His phone was shut off. From the point where we heard verbatim what he had decided about his obligation to the place where he was living and his child, it only took 3 minutes and he had no more cell phone. BAM! See? Sue and I had a situation, (boyfriend abusing his opportunity) and we solved it. BAM! Now, if he doesn’t want to work, that’s fine. We’re not supporting his leisure time. No FREE rides. Problem solved. “You want a phone? Get it yourself”. Now we save money on our phone bill which helps us stay happy and that’s what its all about, right?

Listen, there are people out there in the world that will take advantage of you in a second if you let them. IF YOU LET THEM. There are circumstances out there that will bring hardship to you and to your family unit if you let it happen. IF YOU LET IT HAPPEN.
Never bring a Pea-shooter to a gun fight. Your time on this earth is bound to have some “gun fights” in it. Make the corrections needed to end the gunfight 100%. That’s what I do. Why?….Because, “That’s How I Do It”.

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.”

Holy year-end Batman! Can you believe it? It’s November 1, 2009. The year is almost over! Incredible. It seems like only last week that so much happened that changed how I do things from now on, it doesn’t feel like it has been that long. There have been a lot of changes this year. Wouldn’t you agree? Take a look at your own life for a minute. Doesn’t it feel like it hasn’t been that long since you made the changes to your life that put you where you are today? For me, it does. I remember a BIG one for me. It happened NINE months ago. There I was sitting at my computer, surfing the internet, drinking my 3^rd beer. I had been home from work oh, one hour and it happened. I suddenly got real dizzy, my arms went numb down to my fingers, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I had trouble breathing. Yup, I was having some major trouble. NO Warning. It just came on me like the wind. Next thing I knew, I was sitting in the ER with two nurses, a Dr., and a lot of wires, looking into what was going on. That was a long stressful scary night. I ended up spending 3 days in the hospital in ICU on the heart floor. That’s the floor where all kinds of people in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s go when they are having heart attacks and other serious problems. What happened? High Blood Pressure with serious heart rate fluctuations. Basically, I almost exploded. My blood pressure was so high, if it went any higher, I would have had a stroke. So, as soon as morning came and Sue was with me, I made a change. BAM!. And, I did it for me. No one else. I didn’t care what anyone thought about my decision, I did it for me. My decision? I quit drinking. After 25 years of drinking beer everyday, or drinking hard liquor or drinking wine, I STOPPED. I didn’t even do it by slowing down at first. NO. I went cold turkey.

 I had to make this change. If I continued, I probably would not be writing this Blog today. I would be dead. I was that bad. That was a big decision for me. But, it was an easy one to make. Why? Because it was a matter of either LIFE or DEATH. Stop drinking and LIVE, or continue drinking and DIE. Hmm, decisions, decisions. I like living. Yeah, that was easy one to make. I also quit smoking cigars. I had been a cigar smoker for going on 8 years. And BAM! I quit. Cold Turkey. Oh, and then there were my friends, that when they found out about my decision to quit drinking and smoking cigars, they were’nt comfotable with the decision I had made and they complained a bit, but I didn’t care. I told all of my friends that it was a choice I had to make for me. In my own words I said “Deal homie! I’m done”. And they did! See, this is the basis for why I say and do the things I say and do. Throughout your life, you will be faced with a lot of situations that will require you to make a choice. And the choice you make about that situation, will determine your happiness for the rest of your life. Yes, for the rest of your life, because even though you can make the wrong decision, you still have to live with that memory until you die, so it’s critical to make the right one. AND you have to do it for you. No one else. It doesn’t make sense to make a change for someone else’s benefit. That would make you a tool. No, you have to make these decisions about YOUR life for YOU.

You know, I am 44 years old. I have a wonderful woman who I love, and she has 2 children that I love as well and I CHOOSE to help raise. See that? There was a decision right there. I CHOSE for my happiness, to take on the responsibility to be the Dad in these kids life because they did not have a credible dad at the time. Sure, they have a “father”, someone who helped create them, but as far as being a person who could raise them, it was determined a while ago that he just lacked the patience needed to raise children. Oh he is doing a lot better these days and that’s great, but that’s not the point here. What I am getting at is that I CHOSE to be the “dad”. And I knew what that meant. It meant I was about to ride a roller coaster. I was about to participate in these kids upbringing. All the highs and all the lows. I still made the choice. For me. I enjoy seeing kids that are happy, and what ever I can do to ensure that they remain happy for the duration of their life, I will do. So far, I’m told I am doing a pretty good job being a dad. Yet there is another side to this.

As the “dad”, I have to sit back and watch one of the children I CHOSE to help raise, go down a path of destruction when she clearly does not have to. A path where she is controlled, ridiculed, taunted, abused mentally and financially and possibly physically as well, by a person who has no feelings of compassion or interest in her welfare. In fact, he demands that she give him her “welfare” check, so he has all of the money and she has either very little or none. And to boot, they have a child together which he does not provide for. Yes, I have to sit. I cannot intervene. Why? It’s not my life. It’s hers. I get to sit back, and watch as this idiot puts her through all of this turmoil, takes everything she owns, leaves her with nothing, does nothing to help take care of his own child. After she realizes that she has nothing, he brainwashes her into believing that she cannot make it on her own and that (in his own words) “see? you need me”.

Sure I can complain, and don’t sit there for one second and think that I have not complained. I have. LOUDLY. And with what actor Jim Carey says “Tell me, and put some STANK ON IT”! So it’s clear to this young lady how I feel about her situation. Do I expect her to change? Oh hell yes I do. Will she?…… (Sigh), in her time. She is not ready. She is still seeing a light at the end of the tunnel of her despair. She doesn’t believe it to be the TRAIN barreling down the tracks I keep telling her is coming. In fact, I tell her, “The train has arrived and is running right over you and your child” but she still hangs on to this life and the choice she has made. Why? Because that’s her choice. But see, this is what I’m talking about. There have been many changes so far this year.  Choices we have made, have had great impacts on the lives of all of our family, our friends and the people around us, and there are more changes to come. The year 2009 is almost over, and so much has happened thus far that will set the stage for the 2010. What would be really great, is if you and everyone in your life either started, or continued to make decisions that resulted in memories you can look back on and be proud of.

Looking at what has happened so far this year and what I have been through over the past few years, one thing that happened was born of a choice that not only I made, but my sister made, and that was to let all the “water” of turmoil between her and I run “under the bridge”. Both my sister and I, (without each other’s knowledge) decided to forgive each other’s attitudes and beliefs about each other and concentrate more on being a family. We both felt that it was too much work carrying on like mortal enemies, so we let it go and as a result, her and I are becoming closer all the time. Now, we talk all the time, and she is even friends with Sue, and let me tell you, it’s a good feeling being close to your family. I totally made a good choice right there!

Wait. Here’s something, grab hold of this thought for a minute. See, when you take a look at the time you have left on this earth, we’re not going to be here for very much longer. Seriously, Everyone reading this, will not see the year 2100. It’s not that far off when you actually look at it. Shocked? That’s STAGGERING! That’s why it’s important to make decisions for you. No one else. There isn’t much time left when you look at it. Look, I say this all the time, and that is “EVERYONE is entitled to a happy, prosperous life. EVERYONE”. If the decisions you make benefit you in a positive way for the rest of your life, then who cares what other people say or think? If you’re happy, then just tell everyone when they complain, “That’s How I Do It”.

Givin Props:

Article title is a quote by Denis Waitley

“Talkin Bout yo G-G-Generation…”

You know, I often ask myself, why did I create this blog. Did I create it so I can complain about how my life turned out? Did I create this blog so I would NEVER forget my past because I just LOVE hanging on to the drama? Um, NO. Why did I create this blog then? Well, I really do not have the golden answer as to why I created this blog, the best I can say is that “I created this blog because I wanted to.” I woke up one morning, had my coffee (like I always do) and decided that I need to do some writing about my life, and this is the format I chose. I write about my past/present life. I write about some of the choices I made in my life and how those choices have shaped the way I live today. Am I proud of the choices I made prior to creating this blog? Some of them NO and some YES. The choices I made long ago were, at the time I made them, choices that I thought would help make my life better. As it turned out, most of those choices did not make my life better, they only made it worse. During that time, I never thought, “I should make this choice because I want to have something to tell my children later in life after I fail with this life choice”. I never thought, “ I will have something to write about or tell my friends and/or family.” Its not something I WANTED or PLANNED for.

 

I know as people read “That’s How I Do It”, they might get the feeling that I enjoyed my life back then and THAT is why I write about my experiences. Well, surprise readers! That’s not it! It is not a “Badge of Honor” for me to have this kind of history behind me. I know some people of this generation believe in their hearts that it is a “badge of honor” for them, its something to “brag” about or “it’s best drama one could ever have in their life” to have gone through the pain and suffering from poor choices in ones life. Like it’s some “great honor” or fashion statement or something. Give me a break! That is just asinine. That’s what some people think though. If you are one of those people who wants to go through the pain and suffering and hard times from poor choices made, Wanting to go through hard times. Wanting to suffer. WANTING it, like you would want your favorite food. Why would anyone want that? I’m sorry, but you need to be committed if not shot. Are you getting all of this? The way I see it, people should not have to go through suffering. The “logical, or literate” person listens to the advice of his/her peers and makes their decision based on the facts given. We are all held accountable for ourselves. As adults, I am not accountable to you and you are not accountable for me. If you ask for advice on something, you show the person you’re talking to that you have not been through what you about to go through or are going through and you need help with it. If you ask someone for advice and then NOT take the advice and argue that “you want to go through the suffering” then don’t ask for advice. Why should you? You’re not going to follow it. You waste my time and yours.

 

I will tell you this though and that is people gamble on their lives. You should never gamble on less than a “sure thing.” Yet that’s what people of this generation do all the time. And they do it sometimes KNOWING they will fail, and do it anyway. “Oh, I’ll go ahead and spend my last 10 dollars on cigarettes, because Johnny said he will pay me the 50.00 he has owed me for 3 months on Tuesday, so I will pay my rent with that.” And then you find out Johnny doesn’t pay you because he lost his job and HE needs the money. There are even people out in the world that believe that all they need is “just this one WIN” and everything will turn out better and they will be able to thumb their nose at the rest of their problems and “be the better person”. Let me tell you something right here and now people; There is a brainwashing going on. The people of this generation are being brainwashed by the news, by their friends, by public figures, by celebrities, by fashion and even by their own spouses that it is O.K. to go through failure or beg for money, because “don’t worry, your family will get you out of the mess or loan it to you.” That simply is not how it works. If you think that’s how it works, my friend, you have been completely brainwashed. Let me ask you, If “family” gets you out of every mess you get into, how will you get out of the messes after your family passes on to the next life? After they die? What happens then? When does the umbilical cord get cut people? When do you become self-supporting? For me the cord was cut when I turned 18. At the age of 18, I was expected to think for myself, be on my way to a job, saving for a vehicle, and if I got into a problem, I got myself out of it. My folks made it crystal clear that I was a grown adult at the legal age of 18 years old and that they were not responsible for me anymore. I was responsible for myself. They “cut the cord.”

 

So looking long, how would you get out of the messes that are sure to plague you after your family dies? You have no experience working it out on your own, your “family” got you out of all your messes in the past. WHAT NOW? IF you don’t learn by doing now, hell, you don’t learn ever. What does that say about you as a person. Always having to rely on other people to get you out of YOUR messes. What it says to me is that you are a Loser.

 

Sure, Family is suppose to stick together through thick and thin, but when it comes to being “self sufficient” EVERYONE is required to live their own life; Well then, BE SELF SUFFICIENT. Provide for yourself. A self sufficient productive member of society is one who works a full-time job and earns a satisfactory income, one that provides for his/her household, pays the required bills to keep the house up to par and your minor children (if you have any) clean and fed, and if there is a savings plan in place, provide for the future. The future meaning retirement.

 If this generation of people would get it through their thick brainless heads that the elder generation is not responsible for the younger generations survivability, then things would really be different. I see young adults (19, 20, 21 yrs old) all the time begging for money, homeless, hungry, filthy. Some with babies. Why? If you ask them, some will tell you “because this is what I want to do, this is how I want to live my life.”

Look jackass, Don’t be this way. Get yourself out of the mess you’re in. You got yourself into it. Look at it for what it is people. WE as the “Elder Generation” didn’t have anyone to fall back on when we needed help back in the day. WE had to figure it out for ourselves. Take my advice, you got yourself into this mess, you get yourself out.

 

You don’t like what I say?…Tough shit…That’s How I Do It.

“Please remain seated until the ride comes to a complete STOP.”

Well, it’s been a while since I wrote a new post so I thought maybe I should do something. The past week or two has been pretty good, went to a family reunion, went to a charity dinner, and had to be the “Dad” for my kids. I know being the dad is a full-time job, but at some point in a child’s life, you hope that the child is grown enough to make their own decisions. I know there are dads out there that feel me on this. You raise your children to be productive members of society, teaching them right from wrong, knowing the difference between solid truth and bull shit. There are children out there however that the dad needs to spend more time with due to a misunderstanding that children have, and that is that we as parents (especially dads) do not know whats going on in the world. On the contrary, we’ve been there, done that, been to the website, became a fan on the Facebook page, bought the T-shirt AND the bumper sticker.

Yeah we’ve gone through it. I say “dad’s especially”, because it’s the male of the species that usually has his head up his ass. Most women are generally more mature in the ways of life at a young age and do not go through these types of trials, so yeah dad’s especially know whats going on in the world. As for me, I have lived a wreck-less life. I have done my part trying to “get-over” on the system or “helping” losers. My child is going through this right now and believes her way is the right way. In my life, I have been through the “please, I will try harder” phase so I can keep my home, and still lost it. My child STILL believes helping will help. In this case, helping is a bad thing. It does not help. IT HURTS. It hurts because the person she is “helping” knows what kind of heart she has and is EXPECTING her to help. YES, in the past, I have been a loser myself. It’s a hard life being a loser. You have to remember soooo much. Or, if you just don’t care, (which is what we have currently) you go through life trying to get over on people and struggling daily only to lose in the end every time. When I realized what I was doing, I totally changed my ways. I started doing the right thing. You know, when you do the right thing, things start working out for the better and your life starts changing.

Why cant the children of this generation, when they get to be age 18 or better yet, 21, KNOW that what dad is talking about is correct? When I tell my child, “sweetie, you don’t want to do it that way because Xwill happen” why cant the child say “oh really? o.k. I wont do that then, what should I do dad?” why do they always have to say “nooo, (heavy sigh) you don’t understand dad, I want to do it this way, if I do it this way, I will win big, and I will be the better person”. Well, I guess you just have to let the child find out for themselves. I have found that the biggest dis-advantage a child has in this world with life is the fact that they haven’t lived it all the way to the end yet, so they do not know how it will all work out. They have not been through it all yet, they THINK they have, but they really haven’t. They think they know, but they don’t. So, we as dad’s just get to sit back and watch how it unfolds, and when we see a failure coming, all we (as the dad) can do is elbow your mate and say to her, “watch this, the child is about to fail” and then watch the child fail. And what happens after they fail? As the dad, you are required to make all the necessary corrections, pick up the child that failed, dust him/her off and send them on their way. You’re not allowed to Lecture, you’re also definitely not allowd to say “I told you so”. You can’t say that because deep down, the child knows you were right, but wont let you see it or hear it from them. They cant admit it. It’s a pride thing.

Oh, then there’s the “I’m a failure at everything” part. So as a dad, you get to tell the child “no, you’re not a failure” but they don’t listen. They would rather swim in the drama of it all. Well, I tell my kids something different. When they fail, (and they fail a lot) and they tell me that the are stupid or dumb or can’t do anything right, I tell them they are not stupid, they just do stupid things, and that they are not dumb, they just do dumb things, and if they would listen to my words, they would not have this much (if any) problems. I mean, you can quack like a duck, but that doesn’t make you a duck. The problem is, if quacking like a duck is not making you successful in life then listen to your dad and QUIT QUACKING LIKE A DUCK! I find that telling the child this, causes them to do it different the next time, and the next time they will succeed. I would love to see my child actually see what is going on in her life, put a halt to the stupid or dumb things that are going on, step up and say “That’s it. I’m done messing around”, and make the changes necessary to succeed. Give the boot to the problem completely, no helping allowd, and close the door to the what we as dads call “A wreck-less life with no future”. I want my kids to be able to say the same thing I say after its over. I want them to say “oh yeah?” “well.. That’s How I Do It”.

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O.K. Now I have to shout “Give me a break”!

Yesterday, I wrote about the poor sportsmanship of Americas athletes and celebrities and the fact that all of them need to be humbled as well as recognize that with out their fans and other masses, they would not have a job. What I am stuck on today is the fact that there was so much “other news” that was “note-worthy” and in my opinion worth mytime yesterday and did not receive the “air time” that people like Kanye West or Beyonce received. If you were watching, you may have noticed that there was more about what Kanye did on TV than who he did it to, namely Taylor Swift. You know who Taylor Swift is don’t you? She is the 19-year-old female country singer that won VIDEO OF THE YEAR. You know, the category that Beyonce DIDN’T WIN because her video SUCKED? Also, there were more comments and other articles on how “eloquent” Beyonce was for giving Taylor the stage to finish her speech. What a bunch of crap. Truth is Beyonce’s father told her to do what she did for Taylor, which to me means that Beyonce would have done nothing on her own. That’s sad.

 

Anyhow, we really need to remember what else happened yesterday that made the news but did not receive the attention that I feel it should have. Did anyone hear about Patrick Swayze dying of pancreatic cancer? I did. Did that news receive the attention it deserved? No. I mean look at it for what it is, the veteran actor, Mr. Patrick Swayze lived until he was 57 years old, doing more in the entertainment industry during his time, than Kanye West and Beyonce combined, but received less attention in the news than Ms. Farrah Fawcett did when SHE died. You remember Farrah dying right? She died the same day as Michael Jackson did, however because MJ was so weird, he got more “airtime”. How did MJ die? Drug overdose. What about Farrah? CANCER. To me, that sucks. I never was a fan of MJ, I actually cared more about Farrah Fawcett. As a child, I even belonged to her fan club. That was a long time ago. Anyhow, what about Phillip Garrido? You remember him don’t you? Yeah I’m sure you do, but what about Ted Kennedy? Did you know he died? The Senator got less air time when he died than Farrah! And what did Ted Kennedy die from? Again, CANCER. Did you know that?? See, here’s what I’m talking about. We forget about the people who actually made a difference in our lives as we were growing up than we do about the weirdos and their antics that make the news these days and that’s extremely sad.

 

What Kanye did to Taylor Swift was inexcusable and unlike how many others feel about it, I believe he should be “Pete Rosed” and be banned from music for the rest of his life, and by giving this dumb ass more attention than other “note-worthy” news-makers, we do nothing but help his career out. Can you imagine what it would be like if Kanye was not given the chance to talk or look so pathetic on Jay Leno? Jay Leno should have cut Kanye from his show that night. Imagine, Kanye would probably think we don’t care about him, or that he is not as popular as he thought. Awww, perish the thought little camper! Maybe if we gave more attention to the news that is “worthy” of our attention, people would be a little more considerate to others and we might get along better. Giving the weirdos and the dumb asses and the stuck-up ho-bags more air time on TV than the people who shaped our country in their way, does nothing but show our illiteracy and immaturity in my opinion. That’s how I feel about it anyways.

 

While I cannot say that this post will be the last you ever read about this topic, I can say that there will be in the coming days enough “unworthy” news that will happen to keep the American people thoroughly entertained. Maybe we can send a message to the networks that air this crap by turning the TV off once in a while and having some quality time with family. Who knows, you might find that you enjoy that better. “That’s How I Do It”.